As the old saying goes, you can judge a person by the content of his.... tweets. Alright, maybe not, but for the purposes of this off beat edition the most reprehensible of all new media will take center stage. My twitter interest was sparked by NFL tweet king Chad Ochocinco who tweeted this gem just this morning (or is it mourning for the apparent rapid decline of our civilization?): "Hello world, be great today, find a way to be productive at something? If u a hoe,be a great hoe". I'd like to say "thank you, Ocho" for those profound words. If Angelina of Jersey Shore can be a bartender who does "great things" and Ocho thinks a hoe can be "great", I can only hope a track and field blogger writing about twitter can hit that lofty and elusive standard in modern-day culture. Now, onto track and field's best and most essential tweeters after we identify the worst and most disappointing of the lot:Usain Bolt (@usainbolt): Ahh, what a waste! This one really had amazing twitter potential, but it was not even remotely realized. The tweets are pretty inane and the grammar is completely horrendous and incomprehensible. For example: "In Boston airport flight cancel not cool need to go home like now miss mi bed :) ". If all of Bolt's tweets were read by a caveman perhaps I could recommend it. Bolt also only tweets once in a very long time at which time he will issue a large series of short substance-free tweets. He has not tweeted since July 22, 2010 and there is almost no interesting or good content to be found here. For a prankster and partier I'd like to see content upon the lines of: "left the club at 4 then ate 20 chicken mcnuggets and woke up Coach with a call asking why he was late for practice"
Grade: F
Now, mercifully, onto the good:
Lolo Jones (@followlolo): I thought this was going to be good, but wow; even for a bubbly personality for whom I expected a very entertaining feed, Lolo's exceeded all expectations. Take this entry today about what Lolo plans to do in the offseason: "Tomorrow I'm going to walk around LSU's campus with an empty back pack and Act like I'm still in school & pick up guys...next up #eharmony ". How many poor, unsuspecting freshmen will fall victim? I also enjoyed this one, which I think all runners who've ever thought about running form can relate to: "I don't know how to cheer at niece's first soccer game. Running cheers 'turn it over! Use your arms!' These cheers got me rude stares... ". Lolo's tweets are generally amusing and a nice glimpse into the life of a professional track athlete (honest tweets with enjoyable takes on drug testing, traveling Europe etc.).
Grade: A
Wallace Spearmon (@PrinceSpearmon): I love Spearmon interviews, so I went into this one with high hopes. As it turns out Spearmon's is pretty good with some of his playful side coming out. For an example, he predicts a 37.3 to Ato Boldon and then after they run 38.3 he quickly insists he meant 38.3. He also gave a good tidbit in this: "Man so how about this David Rudisha challenges Jeremy Wariner to a 600m. It was all in fun but I imagine it will go down next season! ". For the record, I give warm props to Rudisha for challenging, but Wariner would be a madman to accept. Rudisha would trounce him. On the negative side, unfortunately, some of the grammar is Usain Bolt-like, though that can be somewhat funny at times. To whit: "Lol dang spell check hated on me oh well you got the point " followed the tweet: "Man I missed home but when I got here I realized I'm bored as he'll and I don't so anything here! ". A lot of the tweeting is somewhat tiresome complaints (they come off as kind of whiny, which to his credit, a self-aware Spearmon catches) about drug tests, waking up, baggage overcharges, but that of course comes with the twitter territory. Overall, not bad but it could be better with more humor and goofing around.
Grade: B (but with potential to be an A)
David Oliver (@doliversub13): Oliver is pretty entertaining here as pretty much nothing is out of bounds on his feed. He rips everything from the NCAA and European pay-for-use bathrooms (5 Euros for toilet paper!?) to Jets cornerback and proud father, Anthony Cromartie. The updates are frequent and Oliver seems like a pretty fun-loving and outspoken guy. I liked these two tweets on drug-testing at his last meet: "So I'm in drug testing and I'm the only one here, not even the doctor, don't know what cracker jack operation they got going on " and seven minutes later "I feel like I'm bout to piss on myself! Where the hell is this guy at!!! Damn I'm getting pissed, never seen nothing like this! ". Oliver also has a blog where he talks in more depth about his races and experiences. A guy like this was perfectly suited to new media.Grade: A-
Bernard Lagat (@Lagat1500): This one was a pleasant surprise. Lagat is a gregarious guy on interviews, and he is particularly supportive and friendly with his twitter counterparts here. It's fun to see him interact with David Oliver, Chris Solinsky, Mo Farah and others. He also announces his plans and aspirations, which is useful for a sport where record attempts and startlists are announced pretty late. His self-analysis of his races and training are also pretty interesting and the tidbits on his parenting are charming if a bit corny. It's nice to get his specific take on his tactics and how he felt about certain race. If you like Lagat's, then I'd recommend Solinsky's and Mo Farah's (a straight goofy twitter feed).
Grade: A-
Shannon Rowbury (@shannonrowbury)
If you're a girly girl, tweets like this: "At The Flower Mart getting pretty things for my new house. " may be just for you. If you are me, then nope this is not the twitter feed for you. I will reluctantly recommend Alysia Johnson's and Sanya Richards'as well if you're (shudders) into that sort of thing.
Grade: C
Well, there you go, I bet that is probably the only guide to pro track tweeting, but as Ocho said I had to be productive at something.
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